Jenny Diski
writes in the LRB that she can never get to sleep on a plane or train, but she likes watching other people sleeping:
the only pleasure to be got out of a long, sequestered, wakeful journey that everyone else is dreaming away, is to wander up and down the aisles in the deep of night and look at others sleeping.
I also have a lot of trouble sleeping on journeys, but rather than giving me any pleasure, the sight of other people sleeping around me always makes me anxious. I'm not sure why. It's as if insomnia is more disturbing when you're surrounded by other people who seem to have reached a spontaneous agreement to go to sleep. And from my perspective they all seem to have done it at once. There's that fear of being found out not knowing the rules...and how overactive must my internal panopticon be when I still feel like this even here, in the situation par excellence when I
can't be observed!
But after all I don't think that's really it. Not all of it, anyway. There's something more existential there as well. Some deep-buried dread that they'll never wake up (waking up is after all a kind of daily miracle; what if the miracle just stopped happening?) and I'll find myself wandering through the world alone, opening-scene-of-28-Days-Later style. Because when one of them finally does wake up, what I feel is relief.
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